I witnessed the falling out of a couple, a few years of rocky relationship, and an incredibly bad break-up. And unlike any break-ups like I've seen, this one seemed like one that is off to destruct each other down. Scandalous reveals, private messages that had gone not-so-private now, a smear campaign that won't do anyone, any good.
As a spectator, I couldn't give a less accurate reasoning - I wasn't in that circle. But seeing the way they acted really pained me. Outright social bursts, throwing away letters, t-shirt, getting legions of friends and acquaintances to join in, forcing them to choose a side. On digital, it seems almost as if they're out to highlight how perfect their lives are, in that everything meant nothing. Getting wasted, chasing papers - no more sadness.
It's funny how everyone on the outside can see right through it, just 2 immensely hurt people trying to send a smokescreen to cover it all. When the best way is to just go ahead and acknowledge the pain, recognise it, feel it. Feel the hurt so thoroughly you know it could only get better. Rather than going back and forth trying to prove how much more hurt you can cause, the only casualty is each other.
Heartbreak is like going under the knife. You can numb it, but you will feel the pain. If not today, tomorrow, if not tomorrow, some other day. And when you push the day further, it will hit you when you least expect it - and that's when you realise the pain was always there.
As I have known, it's better to just get through the sadness and whatever that ensues, then try to move on. If you can't, some feelings just simply, still remain.
Sunday, 16 August 2015
In between wondering what to get for supper and trying to get my mind over a fling thing, I remembered a tweet. "She wants cold water, you fan the cup a million times, then someone else walks over with ice."
It only occurred to me, only a long time after, it was never about effort. It was what fits the bill best. Attribute it to my inexperience, or my overtly patriotic mindset. I believed that if you put in just enough effort, you might at least get to reap some of the benefits. Except, when it comes to the matters of heartstrings, it isn't all just facts and figures.
I could, and probably did, put my best face forward, put on what I thought would be apt, enough to impress and hope to leave one wanting more. But the bill didn't fit. It wasn't at all my inability to churn out a decent look, neither was it anyone's fault. But through the everyday anecdotes and subtle nuances, I had another epiphany. While I still have many things to work on, maybe I have to slow down wondering why was I not good enough, or what was it I should have done. It wasn't neither of our faults. But it took me long enough to realise, and long enough of your time, that hey, you just weren't that into me.
That was it.
Sunday, 9 August 2015
|The Common Topic : Food|
Scientifically speaking, you eat because that is the basic way of survival, the natural order of things. You eat, your body converts that food into energy, and you thrive and survive. And in today's busy world, the basic survival rule goes out of business, and we find plenty of reasons to attribute our hunger. Lack of sleep, too stressed, just bored, just search it up online and you'll find a plethora of reasons justifying why we get
For the longest time, food has been the bonding gel for friends, lovers, families and whatever relationship you can conjure. I've never thought of this till now, but maybe getting hungry is the universe's way of reminding us that it's time to pick up the phone and ring an old friend up for lunch. While it would be much simpler to settle for a simple fare in the comfort of my room, the companionship of someone else, and exchange of information will always seem more attractive, right?
Over food, it forces, or at least attempts to sit people down in an environment where only speech entails, and the absence of it would translate to awkwardness, and perhaps sound off an alarm about the relationship. But at the same time, with someone you barely or briefly know, it's rather outstanding out over a few hours, you would grow to know and like the person more.
We've all heard stories, and experienced those moments where you become friends, great ones in fact with people you'd least expect. Or even better, you meet the man/woman of your dreams because of an almost too coincidental situation that involves a meal.
So maybe really, hunger is not just barely a means of survival, it's the world's way of pushing us to remember interactions and conversations are what that's valued. And not piles of work and stuff we were told to complete.